While sifting through the vast warehouse that is the Speech Tech Blog Archives, I came across a rather unusual Holiday Treat:  A new marketing website from Nuance Communications.

The site–www.frozenpole.com–gives visitors the opportunity to produce a strange and wonderful Holiday E-Card.

First, you create and dress an animated character, selecting from a collection of stylish snow suits and winter hats, choosing from a gallery of faces–the Mona Lisa, the faces on Mount Rushmore, Santa Claus–or uploading you own photo.

Once your animated character is complete, you can then drag her–via her enormously long, pastel pink tongue–through a surreal ski resort/snow-scape, complete with the sounds of dulcet bells and howling winds.  The goal is to attach your tongue to something metal: a pole, a bell, a ski lift, an ice cream truck, a skier flying through the air, etc.

Once your tongue gets stuck to something, a little animated mailman prompts you to select a Holiday Greeting and type in a customized message.  I chose a few sage words from Speech Tech Blog favorite Auberon Edward William Molyneux Herbert:

“If we cannot by reason, by influence, by example, by strenuous effort, and by personal sacrifice, mend the bad places of civilization, we certainly cannot do it by force.”

At this point, the site makes use of Nuance’s Dragon NaturallySpeaking to convert the text into speech.  However, as your animated character is attached, via her tongue, to a metal pole, the speech mainly consists of grunts and vague mumblings.

Your little animated friend and inarticulate voice message are then packaged together as a Holiday E-Card that can be sent to friends and family.

I believe I speak for all of us at Speech Tech Blog when I say: Thank you Nuance!

And, I believe I speak for no one else at Speech Tech Blog when I say: Discovering this site is probably the best thing to happen to me since the Brooklyn DA’s Office decided to drop those charges.

So, check out Frozen Pole and send me a Holiday Greeting (aboretz@infotoday.com) as Part of The Speech Tech Blog Frozen Pole Holiday Greeting Contest.  The winner of “Best Card,” will receive a Special Prize.

By Special Prize, I, of course, mean mainly the prize that is the satisfaction and thrill of victory and the incredible fame/fortune that comes from being mentioned by name on Speech Tech Blog!