Ah, the Holiday Season.  Truly, a time unlike any other here at Speech Tech Blog.

Just yesterday, my editor broke out his vast collection of Speech-Enabled Holiday Decorations.  And of course, we all got into the spirit: eating Candy Canes, drinking Hot Toddies, Mulled Wine and Rubbing Alcohol, kissing inappropriately under the Mistletoe and, of course, decorating Speech Tech HQ.

The scene here is now one of high jocundity and elfin delight.  Picture our office: a sprawling maze of tinsel covered cubicles, replete with drifts of fake snow and strings of kaleidoscopic colored lights, culminating in a glittering display cabinet showcasing our many Talking Holiday Decorations.

Do an of them really make use of Speech Technology?

Probably not.

But, here at Speech Tech Blog, that has never stopped us before.  And it certainly won’t influence our decision making after five cups of my editor’s VoIP Holiday Magic Eggnog.

Among the Holiday Decorations for your consideration, Gentle Reader, are:

The Talking Gingerbread Man

The Thomas Kinkade Talking Nativity

The Talking Menorah Plush Toy

The Large Holy Folks Talking Mary With Baby Jesus

The Jesus Christ Talking Action Figure

The Talking Snowman Toy

The Talking Dreidel

The Large Holy Folks Talking Jesus With Staff

The Oh Deer Mega Talking Reindeer Pooper

And, of course, don’t forget about the crown jewels of our office decorations: Our Talking Christmas Trees.  So kickback with a Cup of Holiday Cheer and check out The Video:

In an effort to move away from the world of talking urinal cakes, we at Speech Tech Blog present you with something completely different.

From IntelligentFirstAid comes the Talking First Aid Kit, which is basically a pretty comprehensive first aid kit that provides visual instruction cards for treating most minor injuries and–more importantly for our purposes here–audio instructions and verbal guidance.

From the IntelligentFirstAid website:

“The kit is separated into individually labeled and color-coded injury packs so the user has all the supplies and easy to follow instructions for managing a specific injury. The audio module in each injury card takes the technology a step further. By the squeeze of a button, the module narrates step-by-step instructions to manage the injury, pausing and repeating when necessary for accurate response.

“By combining the necessary supplies with the new audio technology, the IntelligentFirstAid Kits are the most dependable tool for providing rapid and accurate first aid guidance in the event of an injury.”

Now if only speech technology could cure your Mike Tramp’s broken heart. Oh, God, someone help him.

Please.

I’ve always had a thing for Brookstone: the weird massaging chairs, the digital corkscrews, the robotic towel racks, the jet-powered duvet covers.  I can still remember being dragged to the Clarksdale Mall by my Grandmother.  She would go off in search of “lady’s unmentionables” and I would wander around Brookstone and try not to get kidnapped.  Ah, memories …

Anyway, as one might expect, Brookstone has a large number of speechy items–some more practical than others.

Here is a sampling:

The Talking Pedometer

The Grill Alert Talking Remote Meat Thermometer

The Talking Blood Pressure Monitor

The Lingo Electronic Talking Translator

The Talking Photo Ball

Well, that is enough for today.  I promise that soon I will blog about something that isn’t a talking birdcage or a speech-enabled urinal cake.  Really.  It is going to happen.  Maybe tomorrow …